Dreams don’t fade away as we age; in fact, I believe they intensify. And so does the resistance to those dreams. It's as if our unconscious defenses, honed over a lifetime, become more entrenched, making the pursuit of our aspirations seem increasingly daunting.
At the age of 55, I found myself face-to-face with this reality. "Welcome to midlife," it seemed to say, "where discomfort is the currency of dreams."
It dawned on me then that midlife isn't a period of settling down; quite the contrary, it's an exhilarating stage of life bursting with unfulfilled dreams and knocking aside the barriers that stand in their way.
Despite possessing a wealth of experience that makes us perfect for leadership responsibilities, many of the women I’ve coached hesitate to step into these roles due to….you guessed it, resistance.
But what lies beneath this resistance?
It's akin to facing an army of “inner critics” diverting our attention from our own dreams and desires, instead compelling us to conform to societal expectations or preconceived notions. Whether it's hesitating to seize leadership roles or shying away from pursuing or improving our relationships, resistance clouds our vision and stifles our potential.
And I’ve seen similar things with midlife women seeking my help. They often find themselves echoing excuses like “I don’t have time”; “It’s to risky”, “I don’t know how”, or “I’m not good enough”. Additionally they tend to place blame on external factors for their current circumstances, rather than taking ownership of their own journey. These excuses and blame are the barriers that prevent them from stepping into their full potential and achieving their dreams.
My own journey was filled with excuses and blame, which only served to tighten the grip to my fears and insecurities. It was during this period that I became acutely aware of my Thought Life and its impact on my well-being. It wasn't until I embraced a gentler perspective toward myself and utilized the tools provided in “The Reinvention Blueprint”, that I could break free from these self-imposed shackles.
And so, I extend the same compassion to those navigating their own midlife hurdles. It's not about calling out faults and making a million excuses, but acknowledging the shared struggles and offering a guiding hand towards self-compassion and growth.
In confronting our resistance, we unearth deeper truths: fear, insecurity, avoidance of responsibility, and the desire to sidestep consequences. These are the common threads woven into the tapestry of excuses and blame that we must unravel to reclaim our dreams.
So, let's reframe our relationship with resistance. Instead of seeing it as a barrier, let's recognize it as the very path to our dreams. It's time to embrace discomfort, confront our fears, and step boldly into the vibrant next chapter that midlife truly offers.
XX, Leighanne
